My Biggest Take Away….

Dez's Take Away

So, at the end of February this year I did that thing I mentioned in a previous post where I ventured all the way out of my comfort zone to Ming’s OTOTGo Retreat! Yay! Now, I can’t go into the nitty gritty details because what happens on retreat…. However there were some things I’d like to talk about that I maybe didn’t get a chance to at the time because I was doing all the processing of feelings.

Firstly, I was not expecting that. I was expecting a lot more learning about numbers….I think. I was very nervous and anxious about the entire weekend and almost talked myself out of going several times because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to meet new people. I didn’t know if I could do new people.

Working in the Industry I do, there’s not always an opportunity to meet new people who don’t work in the same industry, that can relate on some level and be accepting. Even the social groups I spend time with exist in a vacuum of ideas which adhere to this construct of “not normal”. Being around new people makes me really anxious because I don’t know how other people are going to respond to my life, my appearance, my work, my relationship. (Which I really didn’t divulge anything…..sneaky sneaky)

The group of women I had the privilege of spending my weekend with as we did “the things” , were the most positively influential people that I feel I really needed to meet at that very point. The industry I work in is mostly female, and through my work I have met incredibly strong, determined, successful and empowered women. But the women I met on that retreat were not just empowered but empowering, encouraging, supportive and some of the darn nicest I’ve met in a long time.

You’ve all inspired, challenged and motivated me. I have a thirst to adventure, question and embrace opportunity. I love seeing all the interesting and amazing things popping up in my social media from your brilliant minds. I’m generally just so bloody grateful that I got to be apart of it, in meeting you all and having that time to be open with you who allowed that from me. It is truly a gift to have people come in to your life and allow that without conditions or expectation.

I’m not good with feelings. Unless I’m angry. I rage well. But the majority of the time, when I want to express something happy, meaningful, compassionate I flail. It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t very well.

So, in the end my biggest take away from that weekend, had nothing to do with marketing. As we had packed into the car, and started down the road to home with red, sniffly faces and that kind of dulling headache you get from crying, I had this moment of clarity where it enlightened me as much as it pissed me off… If I could leave my house for 3 days and do something completely new, and spend time with seven of the most wonderful, loving, and just plain fucking awesome people ever…. that means there’s more of you out there.

The retreat that Ming has put together says it’s for three days… but almost a month later I’m still charged, still learning and still very much in the spirit I was when we left. (It’s not really just 3 days…. )

So in the spirit of adventure, I’ll be taking a trip down the coast at the end of May for Nerida Mill’s Retreat. I’m packing tissues this time…. I have a feeling that there will be tears…


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