My first trip to Melbourne

I was too scared to travel with my camera to Melbourne so all of these are taken with my iPhone camera. And no, I don’t have those fancy attachments! I completely feel in love with the buildings, the Structure of the city, the street art and THE FOOD!!!! OMG!!!

I’m smitten and can’t wait to get over there again to explore everything I didn’t get a chance to!

This was my first official trip outside of Western Australia as well as flying on an Airplane. So there had been a bit of anxiety leading up to the day, fretting over luggage weight and the logistics of actually being on a plane. However, it was all rather easy to navigate and it was most definitely worth it to have been able to overcome those fears.

Melbourne will have a little piece of my heart now, as I dream of her rich old buildings, wicked art culture and the cafes. One of the very awesome stops we made along the way was to the ACMI the Film, TV, Games, Digital Culture & Arts Museum. I highly recommend a visit there if you ever find yourself over there!

 

Also, if anybody has any tips on travelling with their camera please leave me some advice in the comments!!! 

SaveSave

Sisterhood on the Bibbulmun Track

So I took off on an Adventure on Friday 31st of March, leaving behind a shitstorm of stress, uncertainty, and crap. Yes, March wholeheartedly was unintentionally loaded like most of 2016 was. While March did deliver some great days, great moments the reality is it was a tough slog to absorb and I was glad to be getting far away from it.

A few months ago I’d been contacted about going on a retreat where I’d be taking photo’s throughout the event and doing a mini- photoshoot group session for the group of ladies who attended. After attending Nerida Mills retreat last year, there is no way I’d pass it up! Though, once again I had no idea what I’d be getting myself into, in the best way possible.

I’ve been doing retreats now for a little over a year and one of the things that attracted me to this one was that it presented with a physical challenge that I have been aching to dive into! Hiking!!! The Wyld Women Nature Walk Retreat offers women the opportunity to get away from the hustle and bustle and take part in walking some of the beautiful Bibbulmun Track here in Western Australia. Yes, all my boxes were ticked!

One thing I have noticed in the year I’ve been going to retreats is that a very organic occurrence of sisterhood emerges out of these experiences. Whereas before, I was Prudent about my interactions with women and spending time with them was something I did not seek out, as I do now. There’s something incredibly magnetic for me, in finding this happy place where total strangers gather and can share and support one another in the most beautiful ways.

It’s a new thing for me and something I am grateful for.

We walked a total of 20km on Saturday, weaving, climbing and dragging ourselves through the thick Dwellingup landscape. It was stunning, sensational and simply exactly what I needed. On our journey we shared our stories, got to know eachother and enjoyed what the land hand to offer. Through this, friendships were formed and bonds were made and at the end we were exhaustedily happy. Our trek gave us space to connect with eachother, nature and ourselves. For this I am entirely addicted! I want more!

I’m hungry for more connection! I’m invigorated to seek out more sisterhood and connection. I absolutely can not wait to explore the truths that I have come to realise about what I want, who I am and how to implement some of the lessons I came to learn over the weekend.

There were moments of self-realisation, raw emotion as well as strength and the balance of vulnerability. Tapping into the things that triggered a whole range emotions and being apart of or being privy to other people going through that emotional rollercoater is powerful.

Women creating safe spaces is vital to sisterhood and what I continue to learn for myself is that women are vital to me. Knowing women is crucial to me being more of my innate self. I don’t think there is anything quite like the love and support we can give and receive when we’re open to it. After this weekend, I’m more convinced than ever!!!

 

 

What is Love?

In a painful eye contact exercise, that I contributed to earlier this year, I was asked repeatedly, “What is love?”. This question often pops up for me as I reflect, through various moments since then, on the answers in which I gave. I question so much of my interpretation of love as it has been through the stages of my life and growing up. I analyse my acknowledgement of what it has meant and accept that its truth is as real as it felt with no limitations to what actually defines “love”.

Yes, I’m a renowned over-thinker and spend a lot of my time sifting through the snippets of my life. I piece them together and shred them apart in the hope of justifying and making sense of things. Ultimately, I just want to know myself better.

The answer to that question interrupts my thoughts as things happen throughout the moments in the day;

“This is love” or “That is love” and sometimes “That was love”.

After my teenage emotions matured and the intensity of it all wore off, I transferred what I defined as love to infatuation. Through my teen years, I was quick to fall in love. I clung to wanting to be in love as a way to escape, to experience phenomenally and feel. To be lost and away from reality. I wanted love to be out of this world so that I could journey away from the real world. The world where, for me, love was conditional, untrustworthy, hurtful and full of lies. It was my own obsession with making love perfect that caused me to then project and experience love in ways that became all the things I was trying to escape. Playing out, looping in a fashionably destructive and theatrical way, love was intensely unrequited because the perfection I was seeking, does not exist.

Thus, I was the girl in love with the idea of being in love who didn’t want to be loved. It’s so much easier to get by when every facet of your life plays out the self-belief that I was undeserving, a thought that I held as gospel.

I remember one of the great lines of advice that my Dad has given me after a horrendous breakup, “I know you feel really strongly right now that it’s the end of the world, and you won’t ever feel like that about a person again, but you will.” At the time it wasn’t easy to listen or absorb in a way that made me feel better. Regardless, it was true and a truth I know I’ll mutter to my heart-broken children as they grow up and love and loose. Honestly, the heartbreak stage never lasted very long for me. It was more like slamming my fingers in a car door; It really fucking hurt and then the pain would pass and I’d be bruised for a week or two. It never took long for me to detach and go epically searching off for the next grand love. My episodes in detachment, though, were just a little more chaotic than other people, but once I severed links I could move on very easily.

For a long time, my warped understanding was that love had to be hard, brutal and full of angst. “Love should be soul shattering” so that we can put each other back into the perfect idea of what we want. I’m not sure why, or where that concept came from, or why it was deeply ingrained into the way I chose to experience and abuse love.

Reconciling “What is love?” has brought awareness to my own uncomfortable stance on being loved and even being liked as a person. I downplay affection, intimacy and compassion even when I crave it the most. I downplay my own kindness, and the kindness I receive from others. Love is without condition, expectation or demand, yet I sometimes harbour this perception that I must earn it.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin

I’m lucky enough to have found someone to love and fall in love with, over and over. That I can share many aspects and identities of love with, however, it’s not brutal, it doesn’t shatter my soul and I’m not constantly trying to fit into a mould of unattainable greatness.

We’re people, not ideas and to love perfectly is incredibly boring. I don’t earn his love, I have it. When I say that I don’t do so flippantly, however, I’m not on egg shells here. I’m not some circus monkey jumping through hoops of expectation to win him over every minute of the day. Nor does he for me.

I’m fascinated constantly by our life together and fascinated that we have the life we do.  Having love in my life, experiencing love the way that I do now, gives me the courage to love more. I’m open to loving my family, friends and strangers even. I fall in love with people constantly, acknowledging the wonderous, invaluable and imperfect.

Now, if I could only learn to love myself with that kind of ferocity….

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn … is just to love and be loved in return.”
― Moulin Rouge

WPC: Transmogrify #3

Two of my wickedly funny little people treated me to some brilliant faces and I celebrate them. I celebrate their confidence and love for making other people laugh and smile. Their ability to go out there and not hold back inspires me. I love how comfortable they are with exploring those grotesque natures and faces of themselves without reservation, and that they accept them so freely as being a part of who they are.

Another one for this weeks photo challenge: Transmogrify

Here’s a few more that I loved this week:

 

https://pixelesque.uk/transmogrify-weekly-photo-challenge/

WPC Challenge – Transmogrify

Transmogrify

Transmogrify

Time

Weekly Photo Challenge: Transmogrify

In Remembrance of Sunny Film

Transmogrify 

Transmogrification in Nature: Weekly Photo Challenge

Transmogrify: The Meta Selfie

Trompe l’œil – Subtly transmogrified town hall

Man made Transmogrification:Milk bottles and plastic bags : Weekly photo challenge

https://fragmentsdevie.wordpress.com/2016/08/31/fragment-f156/

https://somuchtotellu.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/the-intersection/

WPC: Transmogrify #2

his_majesty27s_theatre2c_perth_in_1926
HIs Majesty’s Theatre 1926 (Perth Western Australia)
img_0711
His Majesty’s Theatre 2016 (Perth, Western Australia)

Some of the other entries on Transmogrify for this week’s Photo Challenge.

These are a few that have spoken to me:

Just a Fallen Tree

Weekly Photo Challenge: Transmogrified

Those Red Leafs Floating in Creek

weekly photo challenge: transmogrify

Transmogrify

Curse the Pigeon Pose

Under the Full Moon

Wide-angle Halloween portrait

Transmogrify

https://imageandword.wordpress.com/2016/10/28/transmogrify-take-ii/

A Kitten or a Witch?

 

WPC: Transmogrify #1

I’m super excited about the prompt for the photo challenge this week! Here’s my first contribution. It’s a sexy self portrait that initially I stuffed up that incidentally fits.  Explore other posts on Transmogrify !

 

SONY DSC

Local

Local

After waiting for a long time out in the suburbs, I’m ridiculously happy living closer to the city! North Perth is my local now and living here for the past two years has been everything I hoped and dreamed.

I love the beautiful mix of old and new houses. There’s history and charm all throughout the area to admire when I go out for my walks. It’s also extremely satisfying to see the towers of the city just a few clicks away!

So I thought I’d share one of the snaps I captured on one of my walks…

baubleNorth Perth.jpg

Journey Underground

DSC02678.JPG

I was sitting with my back straight and leaning against the trunk of a tree. I could feel the mid afternoon sun, and warmth. It felt calm. There were the subtle sounds of birds and nature which lifted my attention. It took a moment, but when I was ready I let my eyes gently flutter open which revealed the marvellous jungle city. The old stairs where I used to meet my friends were loaded with moss, grass and vines. It was beautiful.

Over where the lifts once were, I thought I saw a shadow move. Leaving my comfortable patch beneath the tree I wondered over to investigate. The whole lift was gone, nothing remained. It was dark. Barely any light was to be seen, as the dirt walls absorbed it all. I leaned in to see better, finding that there were slight stone steps. Stepping stones that seemed to lead somewhere. Somewhere Underground. It was curious.

I followed slowly down the path. Steadying myself by brushing my fingers along the dirt walls. I knew my fingers would get grubby and I didn’t care. It felt endless. After a good while I could hear the sound of movement. It seemed to move through the air. Rather slowly a light seeped into the tunnel. In the path of light I could see a little bird. His feathers were blue and his belly white was white. He was waiting.

I arrived at the bottom of the tunnel. All the stones for me to stand on had run out. I didn’t know how far underground I was. It felt far. But standing there I was at the entrance to a field. The sun washed over everything, making it glow. Tall wisps of grass towered around me as I walked. I followed the bird, my friend. Letting him lead me to a space in the middle of the field where there was a flat rock embed on the land. It was red.

The bird flew around me, flapping with delight before taking off towards the sun and disappearing. It felt bright. When I turned my gaze back to the rock, I noticed a woman sitting cross legged facing inwards of the stone. She had long dark hair and pale skin. Her dress looked like it was made of the softest material and glowed emerald green. She nodded to me, wanting me to sit opposite her. I manoeuvred my body to face her and crossed my legs. It was warm.

The woman looked into my eyes and into my face. She had a strong look about her, with eyes that matched the green of her dress. It felt intimidating. I watched her very closely, and listened very hard. I waited to hear her words to me. Then, we both reached up, laying our palms and fingers to touch. Holding them there, I heard her speak to me. When she spoke it was in a language I did not know, but somehow understood. It was truth.

Our bodies seemed to sway, building a rhythm as we rocked back and forth. Our hands were still connected. Fingers came down between each other, holding tightly. It felt electric. I noticed a purple dust, rising up from beneath our rock. It sparkled in the glow of the sun, throwing out sparks of white as I watched it spiral around us. Leading up into the sky, moving in time with our bodies. I kept listening to her truth until she wanted me to tell her mine. It was hard.

We worked for many moments. Not resting at all. I pleaded for her to speak to me more clearly but she just laughed. It felt strict. I withered to keep going, but obeyed the rhythm we created. Pushed my mind through the sphere that was built to shield me and opened my heart. Quickly as I did this, her hair turned golden and everything went still. I was full of understanding and knowing of my path. She smiled to see me shining and kissed me on my cheek. It was soft.

In my hands she placed a brown paper box. Though, she warned to open it when I got home. I nodded for her instruction and offered her a kiss of my own. It was genuine. Then from my place on the rock, I followed my way back. Back through the field to the door of the tunnel. I climb up the stairs, which took less time to climb to the surface. And as I stepped into my urban jungle I was swept into a tide. It was underwater.